The Gathering
A Community of Support for Your Self-Care During
Pregnancy and After Having Your Baby
Welcome to The Gathering. We are so glad you are here!
Pregnancy, birth, and after birth, and the early years of raising a family can bring incredible joy and memories for a lifetime. These seasons can also be emotional and unpredictable, with more questions than answers, limited help, and most attention going to your little one. As a result, it is typical for everyone involved to be fearful and anxious.
We want you to feel seen, cared for, and supported by joining this community through the following practical tips and simple, actionable steps towards taking care of yourself. At the Gathering, we hope that this season is as memorable and enjoyable as it can be for all involved.
Wake Up Call
In Chicago, Black women are six times more likely to die while pregnant, having a baby, or in the year after pregnancy than their white counterparts. The vast majority of these deaths are preventable.
This heartbreaking reality, known as maternal mortality, happens to real people in our neighborhoods. So whether you are expecting a baby, about to give birth, or have already had your baby – you are in the right place.
Explore Your Options
If you are a family member or a local organization providing support to people during and after pregnancy, we invite you to join us. Please choose the path that most applies to you and your needs from the following options:
During YOUR PREGNANCY
after you give birth
Family and Support Systems
1
During Your Pregnancy
Having a baby is life-changing. You are being pulled in so many directions that it is hard to find time and energy to care for yourself. You also wonder what’s happening in your body; you may not know what is normal and what’s not.
You hope and trust that your doctors will help you understand and navigate this season, but they use a complicated language that only makes sense to other doctors. If you feel stressed and confused, we are here to support you.
Meet Tammy. She knows how you feel because she has been where you are. We hope that you can relate and be encouraged by her story.
Hello, my name is Tammy. My challenge during pregnancy was keeping a positive outlook on life while dealing with COVID-19 and the increased violence in my community. What helped me the most was talking to a good friend who listened to me and took the time to go with me to my check-ups. I can tell you now that there are many more resources and people who would be willing to walk alongside you during this time than you may think.
You have what it takes to love and protect your baby. But loving and protecting your baby begins with loving yourself and prioritizing your health and safety while pregnant. Your body is wise and able to hold the miracle of life inside you. So, notice what your body tells you, listen, and respond.
- Being sleepy and tired is normal as your baby grows. Get adequate sleep at night and take breaks during the day to have the energy to engage in daily activities. Rest and take a few deep breaths frequently.
- Pregnant people are more prone to dehydration. Drinking lots of water will ensure that your baby’s water needs are met while helping you avoid issues like pregnancy fatigue or overheating. Drink plenty of fluids; it is essential.
- Try to eat as many fruits and vegetables as you can so you feel well and can stop feelings of fatigue, morning sickness, and other pregnancy symptoms.
- Stretching, moving, and gentle exercising can help manage the added weight and discomforts during pregnancy. It can also prepare your body for labor and delivery, so stay active and mobile during this time.
- Pregnancy involves your whole being – body, mind, and spirit. Treating yourself sweetly, practicing positivity, and finding inspiration can help you overcome challenges. Be patient and kind to yourself.
This can be a tough time. You should not expect to have all the answers, so give yourself permission to reach out for support. Ask questions, voice your concerns, and seek to meet your needs.
- Expressing yourself openly to your family and friends helps them to support you better. Let them know what you need. Delegate to them and let them take care of you. That could be helping you pick your doctor, clinic, or healthcare plan, taking you to your doctor visits, and supporting your choices for self-care.
- When you are having doubts or feeling afraid, spending time with a family member or a friend that has been through pregnancy might give you comfort and peace.
- Knowing where to go in your community for additional support and care can make a huge difference during this time. There might be special events in your neighborhood where you can find other pregnant people and resources to connect with. Seek them out.
- Look at your week ahead and see how to include the above information regularly.
- Schedule your next doctor’s appointment. Ask someone you know and trust to come with you and help you understand what doctors are telling you. Come prepared with questions like: “I have not been feeling like myself, and I don’t know why. Please help me understand.”
- Make taking care of yourself important because you can’t take care of the baby if you don’t care first.
This is personal.
Meet Tammy. She knows how you feel because she has been where you are. We hope that you can relate and be encouraged by her story.
Hello, my name is Tammy. My challenge during pregnancy was keeping a positive outlook on life while dealing with COVID-19 and the increased violence in my community. What helped me the most was talking to a good friend who listened to me and took the time to go with me to my check-ups. I can tell you now that there are many more resources and people who would be willing to walk alongside you during this time than you may think.
You are more than enough.
- Being sleepy and tired is normal as your baby grows. Get adequate sleep at night and take breaks during the day to have the energy to engage in daily activities. Rest and take a few deep breaths frequently.
- Pregnant people are more prone to dehydration. Drinking lots of water will ensure that your baby’s water needs are met while helping you avoid issues like pregnancy fatigue or overheating. Drink plenty of fluids; it is essential.
- Try to eat as many fruits and vegetables as you can so you feel well and can stop feelings of fatigue, morning sickness, and other pregnancy symptoms.
- Stretching, moving, and gentle exercising can help manage the added weight and discomforts during pregnancy. It can also prepare your body for labor and delivery, so stay active and mobile during this time.
- Pregnancy involves your whole being – body, mind, and spirit. Treating yourself sweetly, practicing positivity, and finding inspiration can help you overcome challenges. Be patient and kind to yourself.
You have a say. Your voice matters.
This can be a tough time. You should not expect to have all the answers, so give yourself permission to reach out for support. Ask questions, voice your concerns, and seek to meet your needs.
- Expressing yourself openly to your family and friends helps them to support you better. Let them know what you need. Delegate to them and let them take care of you. That could be helping you pick your doctor, clinic, or healthcare plan, taking you to your doctor visits, and supporting your choices for self-care.
- When you are having doubts or feeling afraid, spending time with a family member or a friend that has been through pregnancy might give you comfort and peace.
- Knowing where to go in your community for additional support and care can make a huge difference during this time. There might be special events in your neighborhood where you can find other pregnant people and resources to connect with. Seek them out.
Take the following steps in your journey.
- Look at your week ahead and see how to include the above information regularly.
- Schedule your next doctor’s appointment. Ask someone you know and trust to come with you and help you understand what doctors are telling you. Come prepared with questions like: “I have not been feeling like myself, and I don’t know why. Please help me understand.”
- Make taking care of yourself important because you can’t take care of the baby if you don’t care first.
2
After You Give Birth
YOU HAD YOUR BABY, CONGRATULATIONS!
A lot is going on with you and your baby. You might also be worried about housing, transportation issues, and violence around your neighborhood.
Although tending to your needs might be difficult, it is necessary. After all, you cannot take care of your baby and enjoy time with your family if you don’t take care of yourself first.
While family and friends will come by, you might feel invisible because everyone is focused on the baby. During this fragile time, you deserve the community care you need. We encourage you to use your voice and ask family and friends to support you during this beautiful time.
You may feel like you hardly know your body anymore. The baby is growing to be really big inside you. Don’t worry because your body will go back down in a few weeks.
- Talking about your experiences during labor and birth with others may help you understand, adjust, and transition into your new life.
- Being aware of the warning signs can save your life. Here is what you need to watch for and call 911.
Although these changes in your body are temporary and should disappear over time, you need to pay attention, like when you are exhausted or don’t feel good. These could be signs of something more serious. Being proactive means:
- Making the necessary work-related arrangements ahead of time to prioritize your doctor appointments.
- Seeing your doctor six weeks after your baby is born since critical illnesses and even death are likely to occur during this time.
- Joining local programs that assist and guide people after giving birth, especially if you do not have a lot of support from family or friends.
You must become your champion and advocate. What happened to Serena Williams and others who almost died and those who have died from not being heard is tragic. Don’t let it happen to you.
- Use your voice and ask questions if you feel physically or mentally off. Listen to your instincts and body, and speak up.
- Here are the warning signs that can save your life, speak up. National Accreta Foundation — POST-BIRTH Warning Signs | National Accreta Foundation
Learn as much as you need about having a baby and what happens after you give birth. This includes asking questions, knowing about the local resources, and knowing how to access the necessary health care you need to sustain yourself and your family. If you don’t ask, then others will choose for you.
- Ask friends and family for suggestions for a trusted doctor, clinic, or hospital. Additional resources available in Chicago can be found here.
- Connect with your healthcare provider about getting what you need and access the following resources:
- Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC).
- Transportation options.
- Medicaid and other healthcare plan options.
- Schedule your six-week after-birth visit to your doctor. If you don’t have one, choose one. See a list of resources here.
- Identify what support you need most, reach out to your family, and connect with local resources like those listed here.
- Be aware of your own needs, express them on your terms, and take good care of yourself so you can take care of your baby.
Your body is adjusting.
You may feel like you hardly know your body anymore. The baby is growing to be really big inside you. Don’t worry because your body will go back down in a few weeks.
- Talking about your experiences during labor and birth with others may help you understand, adjust, and transition into your new life.
- Being aware of the warning signs can save your life. Here is what you need to watch for and call 911.
Regular doctor visits are vital.
Although these changes in your body are temporary and should disappear over time, you need to pay attention, like when you are exhausted or don’t feel good. These could be signs of something more serious. Being proactive means:
- Making the necessary work-related arrangements ahead of time to prioritize your doctor appointments.
- Seeing your doctor six weeks after your baby is born since critical illnesses and even death are likely to occur during this time.
- Joining local programs that assist and guide people after giving birth, especially if you do not have a lot of support from family or friends.
Speaking up can save your life.
You must become your champion and advocate. What happened to Serena Williams and others who almost died and those who have died from not being heard is tragic. Don’t let it happen to you.
- Use your voice and ask questions if you feel physically or mentally off. Listen to your instincts and body, and speak up.
- Here are the warning signs that can save your life, speak up. National Accreta Foundation — POST-BIRTH Warning Signs | National Accreta Foundation
Get informed.
Learn as much as you need about having a baby and what happens after you give birth. This includes asking questions, knowing about the local resources, and knowing how to access the necessary health care you need to sustain yourself and your family. If you don’t ask, then others will choose for you.
- Ask friends and family for suggestions for a trusted doctor, clinic, or hospital. Additional resources available in Chicago can be found here.
- Connect with your healthcare provider about getting what you need and access the following resources:
- Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC).
- Transportation options.
- Medicaid and other healthcare plan options.
Take the following steps in your journey.
- Schedule your six-week after-birth visit to your doctor. If you don’t have one, choose one. See a list of resources here.
- Identify what support you need most, reach out to your family, and connect with local resources like those listed here.
- Be aware of your own needs, express them on your terms, and take good care of yourself so you can take care of your baby.
3
Your Mental Health Matters
“Individuals struggling with their feelings are often dismissed, but it's important to remember how we feel mentally is just as important as our physical health.”
What is postpartum depression? It is a mood disorder in women after childbirth.
The death of a loved one during pregnancy, delivery, or after birth is a tragedy for their family and community. Sadly, Black women in America are 2.9 times more likely to die in childbirth than white women. As deaths of mothers increase in the United States, Chicago is not an exception.
It’s okay not to be okay, so don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Ask your doctor or clinic about talking to someone about your feelings. If you have questions about your insurance, call the number on the back of your card or ask your doctor or clinic for help.
- Do you have someone safe (a friend or family member) to help support you if you need it?
- Check-in with family and friends and reach out to those who can help connect you with someone who can help schedule an appointment for you.
- If your appointment is scheduled for a few weeks later, ask for other places to get immediate support.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, immediately call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Recommendations for Medical Providers can be found HERE.
- The Gathering – Digital resources for Black pregnant and postpartum people
- Family Connects Chicago – Home visiting program that connects registered nurses with individuals who have recently given birth to provide support.
- Healthy Choices Healthy Futures – Easy access to tools and resources to support women during their reproductive years.
- I-Promote Digital Resource Library– A digital resource library focused on maternal health resources
- One Chicago Family – Provides guidance and tips for caring for a newborn
- National Maternal Health Hotline – 24/7, free, confidential hotline for pregnant and new moms in English and Spanish
If you or someone you know is in crisis, immediately call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Recommendations for Medical Providers can be found HERE.
Mental Health Resource List
- Ask your doctor or clinic about talking to someone about your feelings. If you have questions about your insurance, call the number on the back of your card or ask your doctor or clinic for help.
- Do you have someone safe (a friend or family member) to help support you if you need it?
- Check in with family and friends and reach out to those who can help connect you with someone who can help schedule an appointment for you.
- If your appointment is scheduled for a few weeks later, ask for other places to get immediate support.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, immediately call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Recommendations for Medical Providers can be found HERE.
Mental Health Tips
- The Gathering – Digital resources for Black pregnant and postpartum people
- Family Connects Chicago – Home visiting program that connects registered nurses with individuals who have recently given birth to provide support.
- Healthy Choices Healthy Futures – Easy access to tools and resources to support women during their reproductive years.
- I-Promote Digital Resource Library– A digital resource library focused on maternal health resources
- One Chicago Family – Provides guidance and tips for caring for a newborn
- National Maternal Health Hotline – 24/7, free, confidential hotline for pregnant and new moms in English and Spanish
If you or someone you know is in crisis, immediately call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Recommendations for Medical Providers can be found HERE.
4
Family and Friends
The death of a loved one during pregnancy, delivery, or after birth is a tragedy for their family and community. Sadly, Black women in America are 2.9 times more likely to die in childbirth than white women. As deaths of mothers increase in the United States, Chicago is not an exception.
Friends and families have the responsibility to come alongside and protect lives and promote healthier, safer pregnancies and childbirths. Be B.R.A.V.E. Here is how:
Be self-aware.
Recognize your part to learn about the common concerns, real medical health issues, and voices of pregnant Black birthing persons.
RESPECT.
Accept that pregnancy and after childbirth support starts by listening, understanding, and embracing the pregnant people’s own choices.
Find credible sources that can explain medical health issues in a simple, conversational manner.
Don’t make assumptions. Ask questions. Become a champion for the birth experience pregnant people want and need.
Be supportive and accommodating with the pregnant Black birthing people you care for by minimizing risk factors and contributing to a healthy, confident experience.
Friends and families have the responsibility to come alongside and protect lives and promote healthier, safer pregnancies and childbirths. Be B.R.A.V.E. Here is how:
Be self-aware.
Recognize your part to learn about the common concerns, real medical health issues, and voices of pregnant Black birthing persons.
Respect.
Accept that pregnancy and after childbirth support starts by listening, understanding, and embracing the pregnant people’s own choices.
Analyze.
Find credible sources that can explain medical health issues in a simple, conversational manner.
Validate.
Don’t make assumptions. Ask questions. Become a champion for the birth experience pregnant people want and need.
Empower.
Be supportive and accommodating with the pregnant Black birthing people you care for by minimizing risk factors and contributing to a healthy, confident experience.
Take the following steps in your journey.
Black pregnant people have the right to give birth on their terms. With your support, they can help minimize risks during their pregnancy, childbirth, or after delivery by monitoring the following red flags:
- Their care provider exhibits racial bias by dismissing labor preference plans, minimizing their concerns, rushing through check-up visits, making them feel guilty about their health or planning, or failing to hear their concerns. If any of these are happening, it is time to find a new health care provider.
- If they have questions or concerns, encourage them to initiate the discussion instead of waiting for their health care provider to bring these up.
- If they are not prioritizing medical appointments, ask if they need help making an appointment and offer to go with them.
Take the following steps in your journey.
Black pregnant people have the right to give birth on their terms. With your support, they can help minimize risks during their pregnancy, childbirth, or after delivery by monitoring the following red flags:
- Their care provider exhibits racial bias by dismissing labor preference plans, minimizing their concerns, rushing through check-up visits, making them feel guilty about their health or planning, or failing to hear their concerns. If any of these are happening, it is time to find a new health care provider.
- If they have questions or concerns, encourage them to initiate the discussion instead of waiting for their health care provider to bring these up.
- If they are not prioritizing medical appointments, ask if they need help making an appointment and offer to go with them.
Glossary of Terms
1
Listening and honoring Black birthing people’s choices.
2
Using language that allows those seeking services to become knowledgeable about how to receive treatment and live healthier thriving lives.
Here is a glossary of terms you can use in your practice.
3
Engaging in honest conversations so you can learn about the cultural nuances of the Black neighborhoods where you work.
1
Listening and honoring Black birthing people’s choices.
2
Using language that allows those seeking services to become knowledgeable about how to receive treatment and live healthier thriving lives.
Here is a glossary of terms you can use in your practice.
3
Engaging in honest conversations so you can learn about the cultural nuances of the Black neighborhoods where you work.
EverThrive Illinois is taking a stand to save lives through its Chicago Collaboration for Maternal Health (CCMH) program. Black pregnant people are dying. The vast majority of these deaths are preventable. At EverThrive Illinois, we ensure people from communities most impacted by injustice have the access, resources, health care, and choice to create and sustain healthy families on their own terms. Join us.
EverThriveil.org
Last updated 1-31-2024.